rmsephy (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} rmsephy) wrote,@ 2008-06-11 13:01:00 |
|
This journal sucks and is now about gas
For serious, there's too much thinking about how to get oil from the east and not enough thinking about how to stop using oil entirely. Look, it's bound to run out someday, and no matter how many Arabs we shoot, their corpses aren't going to get fossilized, heated and compressed quickly enough to solve the oil crisis. So I took it upon myself to think of a couple of ways we can reduce the amount of oil we need to use.
1.) Install a series interconnected tubes around the world. Yes, we have the internet, but that's too much tube and not enough truck. I'm talking about the ones you see in Futurama that people use to fly around in the air. You know, *those* tubes. Except we don't have to make them carry people. If we have the tubes carry stuff like hamburgers and vegetables that won't die from flying through tubes, people won't have to drive their cars to evil world-destroying places like grocery shops.
2.) Add an extra floor to retail stores, which will have a hotel where employees can live, thus reducing the time and gas it would take for them to go home at the end of each day. In fact, we can hire homeless people off the streets and turn them into butlers who can keep the houses clean, which solves the unemployment problem as an extra perk. Of course, people might not be able to live with their families, but parents always do more harm than help to their kids anyways.
3.) Make bike theft punishable by death. Some brat stole my bike yesterday, so today I had to drive a car to work. How the hell do people expect me to save the world when I don't have a bike anyways?
For serious, there's too much thinking about how to get oil from the east and not enough thinking about how to stop using oil entirely. Look, it's bound to run out someday, and no matter how many Arabs we shoot, their corpses aren't going to get fossilized, heated and compressed quickly enough to solve the oil crisis. So I took it upon myself to think of a couple of ways we can reduce the amount of oil we need to use.
1.) Install a series interconnected tubes around the world. Yes, we have the internet, but that's too much tube and not enough truck. I'm talking about the ones you see in Futurama that people use to fly around in the air. You know, *those* tubes. Except we don't have to make them carry people. If we have the tubes carry stuff like hamburgers and vegetables that won't die from flying through tubes, people won't have to drive their cars to evil world-destroying places like grocery shops.
2.) Add an extra floor to retail stores, which will have a hotel where employees can live, thus reducing the time and gas it would take for them to go home at the end of each day. In fact, we can hire homeless people off the streets and turn them into butlers who can keep the houses clean, which solves the unemployment problem as an extra perk. Of course, people might not be able to live with their families, but parents always do more harm than help to their kids anyways.
3.) Make bike theft punishable by death. Some brat stole my bike yesterday, so today I had to drive a car to work. How the hell do people expect me to save the world when I don't have a bike anyways?
